Pivot: Creating a Life You Love When Things Don’t Go as Planned
Life doesn't always ask permission before it changes the plan. Sometimes the life you imagined takes a turn you never expected and suddenly, you find yourself standing in a life that looks very different from the one you were building. I know that feeling.
Life changed for me when my children were young. I found myself raising them on my own and carrying responsibilities I never anticipated carrying alone. There wasn't time to wonder whether I was ready. My kids needed me.
I became both the nurturer and the disciplinarian. I had to create structure while also creating safety. I had to be strong while making sure there was still softness in our home. I made the decisions, solved problems, managed the household, and continued showing up emotionally for my kids who were navigating their own experience.
For a while, part of me kept hoping circumstances would change. Maybe responsibilities would become more balanced or patterns would shift. Eventually, I understood that I couldn't build my future around waiting for someone else to become different. That was my pivot.
One of the moments that represents that pivot for me was purchasing a home for the three of us. Buying that home meant more to me than having a place to live. It represented stability and security. But it also meant everything in it was mine to handle. Sometimes I knew exactly what I was doing, and often I didn't. So I asked questions, found people who knew more than I did, made mistakes, and tried again. Little by little, the things that scared me became things I could handle.
Looking back, I wasn't just learning how to take care of a house. I was learning how to trust myself, and showing my kids that you don't have to know how to do everything before you move forward. You just have to believe that when a problem shows up, you'll figure it out.
What I’ve learned about pivoting is that the destination can stay the same. Mine always did. I wanted to raise capable, loving kids and create a beautiful life for my family. What changed was my understanding of how we were going to get there. I stopped waiting for circumstances to become what I wanted them to be and started asking: what can I do with the life that is actually in front of me?
That question has followed me through many chapters. I went back to working full-time in the schools and took a part-time job in a clinic, all while raising my children. Somewhere along the way, I began building something of my own through Mind Body Soul. None of it happened because life suddenly became easy. It happened because I learned how to keep moving while life was still complicated.
I used to think strength was handling everything and never stopping. I don’t think that anymore. Strength is knowing what you can’t control, putting your energy into what you can, and adjusting your expectations without abandoning your values. It’s grieving the life you pictured while still building something good with what remains. And sometimes it’s deciding that you’re done waiting for someone else or some future moment to change before you start living differently.
Today, when I look at my life and my children, I see two thriving, resilient young adults. I see a safe and welcoming home. I see the strength in myself I didn’t know I had. And most importantly, I see the beautiful life we created.
It isn’t the life I planned, and it certainly isn't perfect, but it’s a great one. There is beauty in taking life's challenges and making the best of the situation in front of you. We don't get to choose every obstacle or control how other people behave. We don't get guarantees that the plans we make will unfold the way we expect. But we do get to decide what we do next. Sometimes you push through, let go, or change direction completely. And sometimes you simply pivot. You keep your eyes on what matters while finding another way forward.
Life requires stamina. But stamina isn't just the strength to keep going in the same direction. It's having the courage to recognize when it's time to turn, and trusting yourself enough to take the other road.
Jennifer Russotiesi, LCPC, MAEd, MA Counseling